First it was parents, then teachers, peers, employers and husband. When that didn’t work, I tried to fly below the radar screen, blend in and escape notice. I was one of the sheep; a perpetual follower. If I had an opinion, I certainly never expressed it. Fear of laughter and ridicule loomed large in my life.
No wonder I became ill. I was so concerned about everyone else and what they thought of me, that’s assuming they thought of me at all. I lost myself. It has taken a goodly part of my life and a painful chronic illness to realize I do have thoughts and feelings and if they are different from yours so be it.
I am happy to be alive and well. Each day is a blessing, an empty page for me to write upon. Such a precious gift. At last I feel free to be me, to reveal who I truly am without paralyzing fear of what someone else may think.
Judgment has taken a back seat to compassion. I spend more time considering the well being of others and less bemoaning my own lot in life. Giving, whether it be a smile, a ride, a helping hand or an empathetic ear leaves little time for self pity and ego. When I give of myself, truly give from the heart without any thought of what’s in it for me, I receive.
Life has challenges for all of us. These are opportunities to learn and grow. If it weren’t for the horrid fibromyalgia, I might never have experienced the wonderful mind, body, healing work of Joy of Healing. This was the “aha” moment in my life. Thanks to them, I am pain and prescription free. I am happier than I have ever been. Thanks to them, I am more aware. I listen to my intuition, the inner knowing that helps and guides. I ask for help from my loved ones in spirit. And at long last I love myself.